Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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