It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
