i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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