Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
