Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I supernannyed him into submission
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
