you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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