I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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