I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
