There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So. Much. Porn.
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