i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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