the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
