Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
