Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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