So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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