Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
