A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
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YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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