when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize