how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
