Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come share oat with me in your robe
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
