Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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