Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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