She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you didnt know i had herpes?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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