i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
