In the future we'll all be gay
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is classic penis vs brain.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
