He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
