He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.