drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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