Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.