So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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