idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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