some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
