he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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