She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
