The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
