Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
