R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
as a side note pls kill me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
