Define "chronic" masturbator.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
