so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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