Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
