If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
