Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
