:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize