Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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