So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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