We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
are you so shy because you have an std?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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