The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
