Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
