i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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