We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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