its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
