plz talk dirty to me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
