I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
