I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
