Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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