man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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