i permit you to call me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
