There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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