Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
