I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
