you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
