All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
