Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
