Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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